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Is the person you're concerned about behaving in a way that's out of the norm? For instance, are they unusually belligerent, withdrawn, or non-communicative? One of the greatest challenges facing people with opioid dependence is telling friends and loved ones about their dependence. A feeling of shame about opioid use and a fear of negative reactions from others can be powerful deterrents. That's why people with opioid dependence often feel isolated and alone.
For concerned family and friends, bringing up the subject of opioid dependence is also difficult. Many fear that voicing their concerns may make the friend or loved one angry or defensive, and wind up having the opposite effect of what they had originally intended.
This important "starter" conversation may go more smoothly if you keep the following in mind:
It's common for people to think of any substance dependence as a weakness in character, instead of a medical condition. So acknowledge and validate the feelings that your friend or loved one has up front. Make it clear that you're not judging them—and that you do not think less of them because they're dealing with this issue.
By the time someone becomes dependent, the condition can be considered to be a "brain disease." The changes that have occurred in brain activity actually drive the need for the drug. Willpower and judgment are therefore greatly diminished. Make sure you reassure the person that you don't blame them for being dependent—and that what they're really dealing with is a long-term medical condition.
Also remember, many people aren't aware they can be treated in a doctor's office. They may not realize the freedom this treatment option brings to their daily lives. Common conception leads them to believe they will have to visit a clinic every day, or enter a residential treatment facility. So be sure to reassure them that the convenient, in-office setting means less fear of being stigmatized, and far more flexibility because they can still go to work, travel for business, attend family events and carry on with their lives as treatment continues.
Lastly, offering to support your friend or loved one throughout their treatment is important. It helps to reinforce that your concern is genuine—and that you're sincere about understanding the challenges they may face.
You'll be able to offer better support when you're armed with good, sound information. For this reason, if your friend or loved one agrees, you may want to accompany them to the initial doctor's appointment to discuss treatment options. Here are some important questions you can ask the doctor together:
Regular involvement with some form of counseling is strongly encouraged during any medical treatment for dependence. Counseling will help your loved one develop coping skills to help them avoid relapse.
Treating dependence will help the person you care about gain control—so they can get back to doing what really matters in their life. During treatment, patients will learn to identify their potential for relapse and develop skills to manage these challenging times. When your friend or loved one becomes aware of which situations might trigger the desire to use opioids again, he or she will be better able to avoid the situations, control their response to these "triggers," or seek support from you, a counselor, or physician. Some typical "triggers" for using opioids again are:
Seeking the assistance of a treatment professional trained in substance abuse can help speed up the process of learning the skills your loved one needs to effectively manage "triggers" and change behaviors that keep them on track. Plus, by working with a professional, they will feel less like they have to do it all on their own. You can help here by being supportive of finding and attending the right counseling sessions.
Remember: Relapse—and re-treatment—is a pattern with opioid dependence because of the long-term nature of the disease. It is not necessarily an indication that prior treatment didn't work or that the person is not committed to finding help.
Concerned individuals like yourself often need support, too. Helping someone cope with a serious, potentially life-threatening illness can be stressful and difficult. So don't try to take on everything yourself. With your loved one's permission, you may be able to involve other family members and friends. Ask them discreetly for their help if it seems appropriate. You might also want to look into a support group for people who are helping someone in a similar situation. Our Additional Resources for Friends/Loved Ones section is a good place to start.
Supporting someone who is opioid dependent may take a while and you will need a lot of patience.
